“Our best engineer just quit.” That’s how a friend’s Monday started last week. His exit interview? One line stood out: “I realized the loyalty only went one way.”
The Loyalty Myth
Tech leaders love talking about loyalty. Building loyal teams. Creating loyalty through culture. Here’s what they miss: loyalty isn’t a program you implement. It’s not free snacks or team hoodies. It’s a series of daily choices.
What Kills Loyalty
I’ve seen these destroy team trust repeatedly:
- Empty Promises
- Delayed promotions
- Forgotten commitments
- “We’ll fix that next quarter”
- Convenience Leadership
- Supporting team members only when it’s easy
- Changing priorities without explanation
- Taking credit, deflecting blame
- False Reciprocity
- Expecting overtime without giving flexibility
- Demanding excellence while providing poor tools
- Preaching growth but cutting training budgets
Building Real Trust
Here’s what actually works:
- Show Up Daily
- Fight for your team’s needs
- Take the hard meetings
- Share the real information
- Keep Score
- Track your commitments
- Follow through consistently
- Acknowledge when you fail
- Give First
- Protect your team’s time
- Provide growth opportunities
- Take blame, give credit
The Reality
A couple of years back, I lost two key engineers to a competitor. The third stayed, saying: “You’ve had my back for three years. I’ve got yours now.”
That’s the thing about loyalty — you can’t demand it. You prove you deserve it, one decision at a time.
Remember: Your team is watching what you do, not what you say.