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Stop Avoiding, Start Owning

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Stop Avoiding, Start Owning
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95% of managers claim they value accountability. Yet in my 15 years leading engineering teams, I’ve noticed a striking pattern:

the worst managers invariably find creative ways to dodge it.

Spotting the Pattern

Let me paint you a picture. Last year, I was advising a startup where the engineering director had mastered what I call “responsibility ping-pong.” Whenever a project went sideways, he’d bounce the blame between “unclear requirements,” “team bandwidth,” and my personal favorite — “unforeseen technical challenges.” Sound familiar?

The Three Classic Accountability Dodges

Here’s what I’ve seen repeatedly:

  1. The Blame Shifter
    • Points fingers at other departments
    • Uses phrases like “waiting on input from…”
    • Treats retrospectives as blame-finding missions
  2. The Fog Creator
    • Drowns issues in vague corporate speak
    • Never commits to specific deadlines
    • Makes everything so complex that ownership becomes unclear
  3. The Eternal Optimist
    • Refuses to acknowledge problems until they’re catastrophic
    • Always says, “we’re almost there”
    • Reframes failures as “learning opportunities” without actually learning

Root Causes

Here’s the thing — most of these managers aren’t incompetent. They’re often quite brilliant technically. The root cause? They never learned that accountability isn’t about taking blame — it’s about owning outcomes.

I learned this lesson the hard way when I had to shut down a failing project I’d championed. Standing in front of my team and admitting I’d made the wrong call was incredibly uncomfortable. But something unexpected happened: team trust increased dramatically.

Making Changes

Want to shift from dodgeball to actual leadership? Start here:

  1. Own the outcomes (good and bad)
  2. Make commitments crystal clear
  3. Create feedback loops that expose problems early
  4. Normalize talking about failures
  5. Reward people who raise issues early

Key Insight

The most counterintuitive thing I’ve learned? The more accountability you embrace, the less you need to worry about being blamed. Teams instinctively trust leaders who own their mistakes and focus on solutions.

Remember: your team notices everything. They see the dodge. They see the ownership. They’re just waiting to see which type of leader you choose to be.

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